Position change - My first date 2
I have been stuck on page 23 for almost one hour now. "Toni Tholen: Erfahrung und Interpretation. Der Streit zwischen Hermeneutik und Dekonstruktion." I could summarize this book in one word: boring.
At least in comparison to what I experienced yesterday: my first date as a professional escort. I had tried so many times to picture how it would be. The moment I entered my customer’s hotel room, my heart almost stopped beating. But then I looked at an attractive man, charming smile, in his mid-forties, and I felt my heart beating even more rapidly than normal.
"There are such and such customers“ was the lapidary comment of my boss Antonia. For my first date, she selected a customer who would make it easy for me. She recommended me to a regular customer who would treat me really well. It was an exciting evening. An inspiring encounter. And a surprisingly easy way to make money.
Poststructuralism, deconstructuralism, Focault, Derrida, Roland Barthes – I feel dizzy. Sitting at my usual desk in the library, I keep staring at page 23. However, the letters do not make any sense at all. There is a simple reason for it: I cannot stop thinking about yesterday evening.
A glass of champagne in the hotel room, a short conversation about Hamburg and the architecture of the harbor city, then we went out to dinner at one of the best restaurants in town. Poached oyster with saffron, roasted monkfish with mango and pomegranate seeds. Marvelous. Afterwards we went to a cocktail bar with splendid view of the harbor. We had an animated conversation and laughed a lot. And then, well, then.
At the desk behind me, there is Tobi drooling over me. He has been after me for several semesters now. However, I have never been approached by him. If he only knew that he could have me whenever he wanted! At least he could have Sade. But Sade has already entered a new world, a new universe. Far away from the limited life of Tobi’s reality. Sorry, Tobi.
Intertextuality, referentiality, semiotics. Or: The curse of page 23 – a drama about and with Sade, an escort, a student, an escort student, a student of lust and passion. It seems that I will not progress beyond page 23 today. Well, okay. I will get used to it. And then I will be able to easily switch between two worlds.
There are moments that change your life once and for all, dividing it into "before" and "after." Yesterday, I experienced one of those moments. The moment we returned to the hotel room and my customer asked me if he might help me to get my dress off. It gave me goose bumps and caused at the same time a flight reaction. For a short moment, I just wanted to run away. But I stayed and I do not regret it. I did not only tolerate his hands on my body – I enjoyed it. Sade was born. It was the beginning of a new life.